Of course there are many loving and faithful, courageous men and women who serve in our armed forces. Falzone has even encountered “a deployment sex pact.” This is a couple’s agreement on “what is acceptable sexual activity outside the relationship during deployments.” Just giving you the facts, ma’am. To cheat on the person waiting for you is selfish and callous.ĭiana Falzone of claims that, “With long, repeated separations between military husbands and wives, extramarital affairs become the norm for many couples.” In certain military circles there is a boys will be boys mentality when it comes to sexual escapades. When your partner is in the armed forces, you are serving as well. It can’t be easy to suffer a betrayal and have to worry about the safety of your partner at the same time. It’s not fair that you are left alone to deal with the aftermath but this is the nature of your reality. You are feeling broken-hearted and abandoned. Your boyfriend should win back your heart before he wins back your body. Your letter indicates that you are far from being healed. Integrity before intimacy will give your love life the best chance for success. He made a decision as a grown man to declare war on your partnership by breaking his commitment. You and your boyfriend did not “run into the issue” of cheating. You need to be your own best friend right now. Add a long-term, long-distance relationship and a loved one serving in the military, and you’re dealing with a powder keg.īattling yourself is not helpful. It is no easy task to repair a relationship after infidelity. I know that November is some time away and by then, things can change for the better, but doing this would leave me open and vulnerable. I am fixated on whether or not I should allow myself to not only physically feel his presence but emotionally and spiritually as well. We both love each other very much and he’s gone the extra mile to show me that he is hell bent on winning my trust again. Now, he is due to return in November and I am tormented on whether or not I should hold out on him just to show him that I can (slightly out of spite) or to just let it go and trust that he will not violate me by abusing my trust once again. The unforgettable deed occurred and he was deployed in January. The clincher is that he is in the military and I don’t get to be with him often. I’m conflicted on whether or not I should sleep with him again. My insecurities are now taking hold of my current state of weakness and it’s troubling me to the point that I think I am going insane. We’ve discussed the issue, but I am still battling myself. By my previous statement, you can probably tell that I do still love him and we both intend on making our relationship work. God willing, he will soon be my fiance, with the blessings from my parents. To make a long story short, my long-time boyfriend and I have run into an issue. Are you in need of an intimacy intervention? Just ask Abiola! Now she wants to help you keep things spicy and fresh between the sheets. Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives love, dating and self-esteem advice on the CW’s Bill Cunningham Show and all over the web through her hit web series AbiolaTV.
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